Even those who coach, need coaching

Are you the "one" people come to for peace, understanding, advice, structure, deadlines, shoulders to cry, ears to listen, ridin or dyin, reeling it in, speaking truth in love etc OR like me have you been that for people because it's "emotionally safer"?

Well the time is now (I say as I tap myself on the shoulder and slap myself in the face with all the advice and love space I've given to others) to reach out and get "coached".

For those who may be randomly reading this blog or just don't know because I've been "emotionally safe", I want to be a spiritual life counselor/coach.  I've "known" this for about six years now.  In 2006, I broke a three-inch thick board with my hand after doing a visualization exercise.  I had to write my ideal role on one side of the board and my perceived and actual barriers on the opposite side.  The confirmation came as I broke the board and felt the Holy Spirit and all the Universe's energy pushing/encouraging me.  It was an amazing experience. 

SIDE BAR:  If you don't believe you can have encounters with the Holy Spirit without the "church" environment/people, I would encourage you to explore readings about experiencing God in everyday life.  There are actually quite a few biblical references to God/angels/Jesus speaking to/having encounters with ordinary people in their ordinary, everyday life.  I am reading a book entitled The Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything: A Spirituality for Real Life right now and I am sure if you google this topic you will find other resources as well.

So the question is WHY, after that experience, has it taken me six years to move on this?  Although excuses are idle tools, I allowed life to happen (relationship, marriage, baby, job change, ANOTHER baby AND ANOTHER job change, which ironically put me back in the same place/similar job where I had my confirmation...wow!) and I moved it to the back burner.

Ok, ok, that really doesn't answer the question (I was made for this coaching thing...please forgive me, this blog came to me while I was making lunch...I am typing and thinking at the same time..LOL).  Keeping with my truth and speaking the truth in love to myself...The TRUTH is that in all the coaching and counseling I have done/do with others, I had not ALLOWED OTHERS TO LOVE ME in the same way.  I know you might be like whoa, whoa we're talking about coaching right?  However, if you suffer from the "issue/insecurity" I talked about in the intro to this post, I can tell you unequivocally that you've prevented the Universe (through people's encouraging/coaching) from loving you. 

As I type this my eyes and heart are filling with tears (again I apologize, this is a spontaneous post).  I realize in this very moment by not seeking out and allowing good people to assist me in this journey,  I have not been allowing God to love/guide me - the same love He's shown me a million times before...the same encouragement the Holy Spirit and Universe had shown me when I broke the board six years ago.

I think my revelation/reality check came as I was having an unrelated conversation with a colleague (and now mentor :-)).  As we were talking about some joint programming we were planning to do, she mentioned a contact who might serve as a good speaker because she was a life coach.  I randomly mentioned that I had an interest in becoming a spiritual life coach.  She gave me that perplexed look that people who "know" me have given because I had withheld this information.  She spoke some very encouraging words to me that I have heard many times before about "that making a lot of sense knowing me".  So of course she asked me what I had been doing to bring this to fruition and I answered truthfully - very little.  She began to give me information and advice and contacts.  I assume she could tell by the look on my face that something was not quite sitting well with me (she was correct - partly because I am an internal processer AND partly because I had that uncomfortable feeling produced from not feeling emotionally safe.  In my Resolutions post, I reference a book entitled Changes that Heal, which talks about this concept).  She laughed and told me how she felt sort of silly telling ME (the career counselor, advice giver, encourager, task master etc) this stuff.  I was moved to be transparent with her...it was time.  I humbly opened up to her by saying "even those who coach, need coaching".

Now that I have purged, my logic is asking "Now why did you write this again?"  Yes for purging but also for accountability.  I am a firm believer that writing something - making it tangible - holds us accountable, if to no one else, to ourselves.  Also as my blog description states, I am all about guiding purpose...I was made for it (I like the sound of that :-)).  I go through, not just for me, but for you.  I can even go as far as to ask you to substitute any word you like for "coach" ie. ..those who support, need supporting; ...those who love, need loving; those who give, need giving (to) etc. It is time to accept it AND to seek it out.  Yes it's scary (very), but it is necessary to be fully who you were intended to be.

So NOW I have deadlines set, contacts to connect with and one meeting already set up (YAY me!). I appreciate all who have allowed me to use their ears to listen and have spoke the truth in love to me.  I accept!!!!